Post by montbriac on Apr 6, 2010 12:40:19 GMT -5
Once upon a time, in a world of lakes, there lived a trio of fairies. Their names were Magenta, Vixie and Ruby. One day as they were tending their garden, a pixie flew in, red dust making their flowers begin to wither.
"Drat, you horrid, little pixie!" yelled Ruby, "You are trashing our garden!"
"Blow it out your daisy petals!" replied the pixie as he blew them a kiss.
"The unmitigated gall of those pixies!" muttered Magenta. "We should teach them a lesson for ruining our garden."
"Too right!" Vixie agreed. "So how shall we pix those dreadful punks?"
"We should take cob webs and use fairy dust to make a growth curse," said Ruby. "We need to make them realize we're not just kidding around. Magenta, get the spiders. I'll get the fairy punch."
"What shall I put in for discomfort?" asked Vixie.
"Stinging nettle's good," replied Ruby with a saucy grin.
"Yes, that should put a twist in his little green pixie shorts."
"Hmmmmm...now what will we do to make him come to us?"
"We trick him into flying near with some honey."
"That's perfect, Magenta. Why don't we lace it with some of our extra potent junebug moon light surprise."
Vixie held up an amber flask and smiled broadly. "You mean this?"
She winked innocently.
Ruby and Magenta rubbed their wings together eagerly and Vixie poured two doses into the honey and stirred.
"Begin operation PIX-NIX!" the three sang.
Ruby flew out to the edge of the garden; Magenta and Vixie prepared stage two. They mixed the stuff all together for the curse. Just in time, pixies were snagged.
Later that day, the fairies caged the little bugger and his friends, and began the dreaded growth curse. Vixie began the chanting, while Ruby rang a bell. Magenta lit the big red candle. The salt circle began to hum and power rose, churning the air into a magical whirlwind of lights, blinding the pixies. Then the pixies began to grow.
"NO!" they cried.
The fairies just kept dancing around until there was no more room.
"Quick drop the mixture into the cage and run!" Magenta said while speeding away laughing.
Vixie tossed the foul smelling concoction into the cage. The cage exploded! Pixie parts pelted, sparkling and growing to the size of human beings. Having grown so bad tasting the powerful growth potion, the pixies were out of proportion! Not only that, but they were acting out of character by crying for their mommies.
Magenta suddenly realized that they were in BIG trouble. "Uh, Ruby? I think we forgot something very important!"
Ruby looked horror-stricken. The pixies were in really bad shape! Their feet were now flippers and their fingers were tentacles.
Vixie pointed to the toad in the cage. "There's the ringleader pixie now! Look! He just ate a fly!"
"I think we need to rethink our spells," said Ruby. "What ingredient did we leave out?"
Vixie frowned. "The vodka," she mused. "We forgot the damn alcohol!"
A pixie crawled over to the edge of the birdbath.
"I need to freakin' puke!" moaned the pixie.
Magenta looked flustered. Ruby and Vixie looked at the huge hurling pixy.
"We've got to add the booze!" said Vixie.
"Too little too late," said a pixy.
"Maybe we should kill the bastards!"
"No freakin' way!" he replied slurredly. "I'm gonna get my mommy!"
Ruby smacked him on his big hairy ghetto booty and said, "Grow up, you big baby. This is all your feckin' fault for killing our flowers! So drink the damn potion!"
He reached for something in his ponytail, pulling out a wad of spitballs and a straw. He stuck the straw in his nose then blew a spitball at Ruby, causing her to bitch slap him while wiping her injured eye.
"You little son of a slug! You have no right to complain! You were trespassing."
"You lured us with your sweet spell," said another pixie.
He was subtly sneaking sideways getting behind Magenta who backhanded him into the bushes.
"This is getting annoying. Reverse it!" Vixie yelled. "I'm sick of this mess. It's ruining our garden!
Ruby gathered all the pixies, lined them up, and twisted a fairy curse. With a bang they all turned into butterflies!
"Well, that didn't work!" one butterfly said.
"Works for us!" cheered the fairies. "Now you can flutter away, bitches! But not before you say you're sorry for causing all this strife!"
"Pflltttph!" another butterfly exclaimed, grinning like a drunk undertaker.
Ruby went to the shed to have monkey sex with Vixie's uncle Mortimer who was overdosed on Viagra suffering side effects of ever lasting.
"Six hours? Really?!?"
"Yep, what a mess. Do I have any extra?"
"How do you do it? Besides we're out of whip-it's and my
"Drat, you horrid, little pixie!" yelled Ruby, "You are trashing our garden!"
"Blow it out your daisy petals!" replied the pixie as he blew them a kiss.
"The unmitigated gall of those pixies!" muttered Magenta. "We should teach them a lesson for ruining our garden."
"Too right!" Vixie agreed. "So how shall we pix those dreadful punks?"
"We should take cob webs and use fairy dust to make a growth curse," said Ruby. "We need to make them realize we're not just kidding around. Magenta, get the spiders. I'll get the fairy punch."
"What shall I put in for discomfort?" asked Vixie.
"Stinging nettle's good," replied Ruby with a saucy grin.
"Yes, that should put a twist in his little green pixie shorts."
"Hmmmmm...now what will we do to make him come to us?"
"We trick him into flying near with some honey."
"That's perfect, Magenta. Why don't we lace it with some of our extra potent junebug moon light surprise."
Vixie held up an amber flask and smiled broadly. "You mean this?"
She winked innocently.
Ruby and Magenta rubbed their wings together eagerly and Vixie poured two doses into the honey and stirred.
"Begin operation PIX-NIX!" the three sang.
Ruby flew out to the edge of the garden; Magenta and Vixie prepared stage two. They mixed the stuff all together for the curse. Just in time, pixies were snagged.
Later that day, the fairies caged the little bugger and his friends, and began the dreaded growth curse. Vixie began the chanting, while Ruby rang a bell. Magenta lit the big red candle. The salt circle began to hum and power rose, churning the air into a magical whirlwind of lights, blinding the pixies. Then the pixies began to grow.
"NO!" they cried.
The fairies just kept dancing around until there was no more room.
"Quick drop the mixture into the cage and run!" Magenta said while speeding away laughing.
Vixie tossed the foul smelling concoction into the cage. The cage exploded! Pixie parts pelted, sparkling and growing to the size of human beings. Having grown so bad tasting the powerful growth potion, the pixies were out of proportion! Not only that, but they were acting out of character by crying for their mommies.
Magenta suddenly realized that they were in BIG trouble. "Uh, Ruby? I think we forgot something very important!"
Ruby looked horror-stricken. The pixies were in really bad shape! Their feet were now flippers and their fingers were tentacles.
Vixie pointed to the toad in the cage. "There's the ringleader pixie now! Look! He just ate a fly!"
"I think we need to rethink our spells," said Ruby. "What ingredient did we leave out?"
Vixie frowned. "The vodka," she mused. "We forgot the damn alcohol!"
A pixie crawled over to the edge of the birdbath.
"I need to freakin' puke!" moaned the pixie.
Magenta looked flustered. Ruby and Vixie looked at the huge hurling pixy.
"We've got to add the booze!" said Vixie.
"Too little too late," said a pixy.
"Maybe we should kill the bastards!"
"No freakin' way!" he replied slurredly. "I'm gonna get my mommy!"
Ruby smacked him on his big hairy ghetto booty and said, "Grow up, you big baby. This is all your feckin' fault for killing our flowers! So drink the damn potion!"
He reached for something in his ponytail, pulling out a wad of spitballs and a straw. He stuck the straw in his nose then blew a spitball at Ruby, causing her to bitch slap him while wiping her injured eye.
"You little son of a slug! You have no right to complain! You were trespassing."
"You lured us with your sweet spell," said another pixie.
He was subtly sneaking sideways getting behind Magenta who backhanded him into the bushes.
"This is getting annoying. Reverse it!" Vixie yelled. "I'm sick of this mess. It's ruining our garden!
Ruby gathered all the pixies, lined them up, and twisted a fairy curse. With a bang they all turned into butterflies!
"Well, that didn't work!" one butterfly said.
"Works for us!" cheered the fairies. "Now you can flutter away, bitches! But not before you say you're sorry for causing all this strife!"
"Pflltttph!" another butterfly exclaimed, grinning like a drunk undertaker.
Ruby went to the shed to have monkey sex with Vixie's uncle Mortimer who was overdosed on Viagra suffering side effects of ever lasting.
"Six hours? Really?!?"
"Yep, what a mess. Do I have any extra?"
"How do you do it? Besides we're out of whip-it's and my